she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i would punch a child for taco bell
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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