I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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