Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
