apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
