my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
