Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Randomize
