oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize