what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
