I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
