i just wanna soil my oats bro
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize