He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
vagina is talking i cant
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
