Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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