Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
