I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
