Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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