but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
