Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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