At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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