his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
