my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
