we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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