perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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