You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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