Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
