My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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