these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
