We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Fuck me I smell like cheese
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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