is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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