Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
