No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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