i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize