Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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