drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize