This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
