dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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