The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize