whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
