There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
