Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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