My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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