I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
