All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
