He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize