He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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