her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
