Pappa wants mamma naked
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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