porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
