K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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