I hate your face
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
