only if we run a train.
done.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
