I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.