so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.