I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...