I'm fucking your sister right now.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt