i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
