Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
