Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
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If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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