so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
