and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
