i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
