dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
