im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
