I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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