I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
