i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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