oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
